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    SMART ARSED ANSWERS

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    Anthony
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    Male
    Number of posts : 4
    Age : 35
    Location : Barton court
    Job/hobbies : I am James Bond! Shhh!
    Registration date : 2008-01-10

    SMART ARSED ANSWERS

    Post  Anthony on Mon 11 Feb 2008, 1:43 pm

    SMART ARSED ANSWERS



    6th Place
    It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
    'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in
    the front row.
    'What are my choices?' the man asked.
    'Yes or no,' she replied.

    5th Place
    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
    his trench coat and flashed her.
    Without blinking an eyelid she said,
    'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'

    4th Place
    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's
    store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
    She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
    The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

    3rd Place
    The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped
    for speeding.
    'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said.
    The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'
    When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
    without a ticket.

    2nd Place
    A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.
    A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'
    Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck
    under it.
    Cars are backed up for miles.
    Finally, a police car comes up.
    The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab And said
    to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?'
    The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
    petrol!'

    SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007
    A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's
    final exam.
    'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
    tomorrow.
    I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,
    or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
    whatsoever!'
    A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
    'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and
    utter sexual exhaustion?'
    The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
    When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,
    shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write
    with your other hand'.

    LucyW
    Newbie

    Female
    Number of posts : 2
    Age : 33
    Location : Augustine
    Job/hobbies : Teacher
    Registration date : 2008-06-30

    Re: SMART ARSED ANSWERS

    Post  LucyW on Mon 07 Jul 2008, 2:54 pm

    I loved this - it had me rolling around on the floor! As a teacher I can't wait to use the 1st place answer. Nice one

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